Follow the Leader

As a child I loved the game, “follow the leader.” Of course, I always wanted to be the leader, never the follower, lol.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that leading isn’t always a great position to be in and comes with great responsibility. Following isn’t promoted in this world. Instead we are taught self-sufficiency, self-reliance, individualism.  You know, make your own way, do what it takes?  But what happens when the Lord allows a crisis to come full force into your life that your personal abilities and strength aren’t adequate enough to resolve? When every time you attempt to resolve and figure a way out of your predicament, you get the stop sign and sense you’re being told to stop and let go of the reins? Well, I can tell you, that’s exactly where I am right now in my life. The message in my crisis appears to be let go, surrender, be willing.

One evening during my crisis, I was reading about the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17, when verse 21 jumped off the page at me, “And looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him, and said to him, “One thing you lack, go and sell all your possess, and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come follow me.”  (NASV) Verse 22 tells us that the rich man walked away grieved because he had great wealth and could not justify letting it go to follow Christ. Jesus felt a love for the man. But required that he surrender what was dear to him in order to be Jesus’ follower. Wow! Did that hit home! The rich man was confronted with his need to stop trusting in his wealth, stop loving his wealth and to stop wanting his wealth MORE than his need for Jesus.

I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my heart constrict with pain. I was acting just like the rich man. No, I am not wealthy. But my trust and desire has been focused more on my need for security, pain-free living, and my need for control than my need for trusting God. The rich man was asked to surrender what he valued in his life for the sake of following Jesus. But this didn’t fit into his personal scenario for having eternal life. It didn’t fit mine either.

How many times do we tell God, “I’ll follow you wherever you want, as long as you do it my way? As long as you don’t ask too much from me.”  DO IT MY WAY. Leave me in control. Don’t ask me to do the hard thing by letting go of my security and comfort for the unknown.

As I was reading this passage I noticed a piece of paper I had torn off a church bulletin and used as a book mark. I pulled the paper out intending to place it in this passage, when I noticed the words written on it. These words hit me like a cold glass of water in the face, – it said, “I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW.’  I had torn off the corner of the page not even paying attention to what it said. I was shocked and mesmerized. I reached for my pen and pad and wrote the words, SURRENDER and WILLINGNESS. I realized in that moment that I had been telling God I would follow him any where he desired as long as he did it my way. My attitude was so wrong and arrogant. I wanted Jesus to be made into my image instead of me being made into His. This lead to a time of  grief, prayer and repentance. He didn’t need me. I needed him.  And then I remembered the lyrics to a song we learned in church as kids,

“Where He Leads Me I Will Follow.”

I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
“Take thy cross and follow, follow Me.”

Refrain

Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow;
I’ll go with Him, with Him, all the way.

My friends, I hope that as you and I walk this journey we will surrender all that is dear to us and follow Jesus, desiring his will more than our own. Oh Lord, help us to trust you always.